ADHD Summer Inertia

We made it through MAY-hem! I don't know about you, but the more I acknowledge and embrace the chaos of May, the less surprised I am when it's crazy EVERY YEAR!

But now it's time to transition to summer! Every time there's a shift in routine and expectations, it makes sense that it's bumpy for a little bit! Kids need a break from intense schedules to recover from the burnout of May, just like we do! But sometimes a complete lack of structure can feel really unsettling too. My 18 year old told me yesterday that not having places to be and clear things to do is cranking up his ADHD inertia.

Inertia is a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. In physics, it means that matter will remain in its existing state of rest or motion unless that state is changed by an external force. Classes, routines, plans with friends, goals, and work schedules are external forces that initiate change from lying in bed to leaving the house. Without external forces, ADHD inertia means that tasks that would normally be mole hills suddenly feel like mountains. External forces can come from one's self - they don't have to be imposed - but to do that our kids & teens need to build skills such as setting goals, remembering their goals, and creating a plan or routine to help them meet their goals. 

So we talked about a few things:

1) His value as a human isn't tied to his productivity and it's nice to have a break. It's okay to rest and recover. 

2) Having a purpose - something you're learning or something you're working toward - really helps you know what to do day to day.

3) What does he want to learn or practice right now? What small routines does he want to create for himself this summer? What are his goals right now?

This is an ongoing conversation, but it was a great start.

Be aware of a few pitfalls that uniquely wired folks can fall into. 

1) All or nothing thinking - in the past, when setting a new routine or schedule, I have decided to make a new routine for EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME! Sometimes down to the minute! I have created detailed schedules and routines that leave me exhausted and avoidant by the time I'm done creating them (hello perfectionism :). Instead, start small! Pick ONE new habit to practice, and make sure you create habits that bring joy too!

For example, my son is going to block out an hour each day for learning (intellectual habit) and pick a day each week to do his laundry (house habit) to minimize decision making. Start small! 

2) Not knowing what you're working toward - as funny as it sounds, sometimes we forget our goals or what we're already working toward! Set a phone reminder or create a visual reminder (I love white boards!) to help you and your kids remember the goals they have.

Once my son and I started talking, he remembered his goals to practice Japanese, learn new songs on the piano, learn Blender 3D Modeling and reorganize his room. Sometimes we just need someone to hold space for us to remember what we already want to do! Then experiment to find the routine or structure that will help you do it. And yes, you can build these skills with fun things too - and that's why summer is a perfect time to practice life skills!

Happy Summer!

XO,

Audrey